Summer Sojourn

A little immaturity goes a long way, and I suppose I received some closure in a way I hadn't been expecting or hoping for, but that's the way life goes sometimes. All I can do is apologize and move on, hoping he moves on and comes around eventually. And if he doesn't, so be it. I'll remember the good parts of our relationship and shove out the bad. I'll be nicer than he deserves, because I refuse to drop to his level. Didn't call on purpose? Alright. It takes two to tango, and I already admitted I was wrong. I was infuriated, but that doesn't help things. There's nothing left to dwell on. This summer will be about me. I'm going to be selfish for once, dammit.

Plans. I've moved into an apartment with Gabs and we're being pseudo-adults, buying groceries and cookware, looking for jobs. I'm going home for Kellyburn's graduation, which will be joyous and full of congratulations and pride for my dearest, cousin-like friend. My brother will come back to Columbia with me for a short visit during which I will try to talk some sense into him about relationships (though god knows my advice, however drawn from experience, should be taken with a grain of salt in that department). Forrest will visit at the end of June during his birthday, and he and Gabs and I will frolic about. I'll complete History of American Journalism with flying colors, attempting not to procrastinate on the book review and failing anyway.

Sayeed will come home with me over the 4th of July to hang out with my family and friends, and we won't have to pretend we aren't madly in love with each other. We'll cook out and watch fireworks on a blanket and be goddamn American (which is ironic when you think about it). We'll start our religious studies class together and enjoy every minute of it. I'll keep working on geography - hey, I've got nine months (no, not of pregnancy), might as well take my time. We'll take a trip to the St. Louis Zoo, eat a picnic lunch, go out to dinner and go see My Fair Lady at The Muny. We'll hold hands the entire day with careless abandon.

I'll have a job or I won't. I'll read all the books on my list - or at least a lot of them. I'll finish knitting my scarf. I'll write poetry and fiction. I'll learn to cook - including Indian food.

Kellyburn will visit at the end of July and bring with her all her tales of summer flings, creative writing, downright silliness and sunshine. Everyone will pack up and move home for a temporary vacation before packing up and moving back. And it'll be a nice sojourn from school life and reality. Time for family and friends from home. Time for pets and time alone. Time for reflection on a summer well-spent. For memories and hammocks and daydreams.

Just enough time to sleep before sleep isn't an option. We all need that little lull once in a while. I'm pretty confident I can do some healing this summer if I let myself. If I figure out what really makes me happy. I'm ready.