Worrywart

As the summer comes to a close - 19 more days until I move into McDavid with the rest of the FARCers (Fine Arts Residential Community... ers) - the anticipation and eagerness that I felt in June for school to recommence is waning. I have one more week of work (grace à dieu), two weeks without my parents (they're celebrating their 25th anniversary by taking a trip across the country), one week without my best friend (she's visiting her significant other in Michigan), and about three weeks attempting to see my boyfriend at least more than once before the long-distance stretch begins, as he lives in a gilded cage made of bribes and financial support (long story).

It's a lot to process. Moving forward, people going their separate ways, leaving things behind. I want the freedom that comes with being at school, but my brain isn't ready to tackle the 18 credit hours I've thrown at it (perhaps unwisely). I'm excited for my publishing internship, though reading 20 short stories a week in addition to the rest of my schoolwork might be a bit much... especially if I'm going to attempt to toss in the same amount of socializing I did this past semester. Without violin studio things might be a tad less stressful. I'm just worried about talking to Prof. Szekely about stopping. I did forewarn her at the end of last semester that my workload was too heavy to keep up with lessons, but I'm not quite sure she really processed my situation. Music types forget that not everyone is as dedicated to their craft as they are. She graduated from Julliard... that's all I'm going to say. But then one must ask, why is she working for the University of Missouri? Our orchestra department blows. Or, well, it isn't of any note, at least.

In the friend department... certain things are worrisome. Casey and I are going to get along fabulously as roommates, I can just feel it. Aside from that, the Jim and Sayeed combination is going to be interesting. If only they wouldn't harbor the same love interest. :sigh: More roommate turmoil has already surfaced where Gabs is concerned, as Jane decided to live in Campus View Apartments without telling her until very recently, meaning Gabs will be stuck with someone random. A very classy move by Jane. Downright swanky. She's been an extremely sophisticated person ever since she started dating Jeff... ahem. And then there's the fact that Gabs, Liz, Jim, Ben, and Johnny will have already been at school for a week prior to Sayeed and I's arrival because of Marching Mizzou. They tend to get a little chummy, and I'm worried about feeling incredibly separated from their group. I've never met Johnny face-to-face, either. He's Ben's best friend from high school (a freshie, oh goody), and he seems to have a unique sense of humor, generally likable. The truth is, I think he and Gabs are going to hit it off really well, and I'm worried she'll pull a Jane and desert everyone for better company. I'm probably over-analyzing everything to death, but my fears are still simmering away under the surface.

You would think college would be rather freer from drama than high school... a naïve hope, really. However, I can't afford to spend the rest of my summer stressing about what-ifs and could-bes. I need a good smack in the face and a sense of purpose. I should start making lists and taking inventory of everything I need for school. That and stop sitting around the house all day being useless.

Sounds like a plan. Or at least something vaguely resembling one...